The Best Writing Assignment Ever!

The story of how Johnny Chickmonk came to be.

I received this writing assignment many years ago.

First came the checklist.

And then I got three drawings with instructions to answer these questions for each one and make an outline from the answers.

What is she feeling, thinking or doing?

Why is she doing this? When is she doing this?

Where is she doing this?

Is there anything happening outside the picture?

What happened after this picture?

And then the the book told me

From the outline you have created, write out your three paragraphs. Be sure to include all six dress-ups and all six sentence openers. Use the checklist on page 44 to make sure you have them all!

Now, as you know, I am not a good writer and was worse then. And even though Mr. Pudewa tried to make this interesting, I did not want to add the right number of prepositional sentence openers. So I went with the most attractive option: put down some nonsense, make it funny and hope Mom likes it. It still forces me to chuckle in amusement whenever I read it. I shouldn't tell you this but it worked. Mom almost fell over laughing and I didn't have to add an adverbial clause. Love you, Mom.

The Quest For Water

Johnny Chickmonk is on a quest. A quest for water, because his homeland (Monkey land) has no water, only beer. Now that is not a problem for most of the residents of Monkey, but Johnny is a Chickmonk. Drinking beer makes politics more interesting, the police more lenient, and workplaces less somber, but drinking beer had become a problem at the monastery. The monks were changing into a more rowdy and less thoughtful group than was desired. So an assembly was called to find a solution. After some deliberation it was resolved that all the Chickmonks would go out though the land in search of water.

So Johnny Chickmonk was sent off in a north westerly direction looking for water. After traveling for approximately three and a half minutes, fatigue and exhaustion began to set in; the heat was getting to him. It had nothing to with the fact that he had drunk eleven beers that morning and sixteen the previous night. He halted and began casting about for a spot to rest when he saw something on the ground; he trotted over and peered at it. It was a garden hose. He pecked at it and it broke. A small crack resulted. A tiny stream of clear clean water spewed forth. Johnny Chickmonk was ecstatic. He quickly headed back to the monastery. A celebration was proclaimed and everyone was served water.

Johnny Chickmonk had found water and the monks were saved.