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Election Results Are In!

April 19, 2016


Conservative landslide!


In surprise pre-election news, The Mercer Report has received word from Elections Manitoba that today's result will be a PC super majority. Anonymous sources say that no matter what the real vote count is, Elections Manitoba will report a win, with over 50% of the vote for Brian Pallister's team. The reason given by the unnamed sources was that a large check was received from a Central American bank in exchange for the election victory. The check was sent from the Association of American Medical Insurance Providers for the Privatization of Canadian Health Care.  The Head of Elections Manitoba says that they rely on these types of donations (in trade for votes) because elections only come once every four years, and that this is the only money that administrators live on in between campaigns. So there you have it, the election results are in and The Mercer Report had them first.

Conservatives win largest majority in history!



In other news... Media swarmed a Sanford polling station this morning, and, with dignitaries on hand, veteran political pundit Mercer Lawrenson cast his first (well, first legal) ballot.


Please Go Vote!




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